It's 2029, NewsomCoin is the future!

Each NewsomCoin purchase is an investment in an equitable future, where trans lives matter and all cars are electric and self-driving. So what if you own nothing? You can borrow more money at 0% interst using your NewsomCoin as collateral with the US Federal reserve. Need to verify digital ID, your NewsomCoin wallet has all of your biometric data stored securely. It even integrates directly into your AI agent, for convenient purchases at WalMart, a proud supporter of NewsomCoin. Shoplift all you like, but NewsomCoin does track your Covid vaccination status in realtime. Don't expect to enter any business if you haven't had at least 4 boosters. Homeless? NewsomCoin holders are entitled to free food and shelter vouchers. Free goy slop for the masses.